Satchel McGrelligan

"I'm gay as a picnic basket!"


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For some reason, I keep imagining Satchel as looking a bit like Nicholas Cage in “The Socerer’s Apprentice” – in his mid-forties, with longish, messy hair, short and stout, and wearing an enormous coat.


“If we were to draw a graph of my process, of my method, it would be something like this: Satchel, Satchel, Satchel, action, sorcerer “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”, cut, Satchel, Satchel, Satchel."

Satchel grew up in a Halfling community in a tiny town in the Deeps Woods (so tiny, the name isn’t even worth mentioning). His parents were totally unsurprised to find out that their little Satchel was gay, but were shocked to discover that he wanted to be an actor. Once he was old enough, Satchel set out to accomplish his dream outside of the Deep Woods. He soon encountered a troop of traveling performers who were impressed by his small stature and commanding voice.

After years of traveling with his merry band, he was cast in the role of a sorcerer. Everything seemed to be going well until all hell broke loose the night of the first performance, when fire burst out of Satchel’s hands mid-soliloquy and set one of the audience members alight (luckily, he was fine). As a result, Satchel was thrown out of the troop and lost most of his friends. On the bright side, he realized that he had magical powers.

Satchel began traveling on his own, experimenting with his own powers (he may have accidentally burned down a forest, but he doesn’t like to talk about it). He tried to find other sorcerers to teach him to hone his power wherever he could. He eventually befriended a sorcerer named Keenan, and lived with him until he was cruelly betrayed and tossed out.

Now, he’s a vagrant on the road, making pennies creating amusing illusions for children and reciting monologues from his old glory days.

He is worn down from his trials but nonetheless remains flamboyant and strangely charismatic, despite his clear unease around people when he has no script. He is also quite arrogant (wouldn’t you be if you acted so well you became your character?). His biggest wish is to redeem himself and to be seen as a worthy being.

Satchel McGrelligan

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